This is about my ex.

I hate you, but I love you
You disgust me, yet I want you
Should I give you pain, or give you pleasure
I'm not sure, first no, then yes
First I don't, then I do,
'm confused
You hurt me, should I hurt you
Should I let it go, or hold on
And to what, to anger, to hate
Or to love and to pain
Which should I trully feel
It's unclear
I want to cry, but I stand tall
Holding it in, holding it all
Saying I feel, what I do, yet don't
I hate myself, no I hate you
I hate everything, then nothing at all
Help me.